SUGAR, SPICE, AND REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS.
In the light of certain conversations I have had over the past few days, I find the need to write this in hopes of clearing out certain misconceptions regarding pregnancy, abortion, and basic reproductive rights. To provide a bit of context, I had made a post a while ago saying that abortion isn’t a sin, contrary to what people may believe, and as expected I got quite a bit of backlash for the statement. Unfortunately, those who reacted to me that day wasn’t ready to listen to my reasoning, and I hope this will be received better today.
I have rewritten this quite a few times already and I’m still unsure of how to approach this topic thoughtfully. So in this attempt, I shall proceed by addressing each point that came up in those conversations.
“Abortion is murder”
It isn’t. Not simply because I’m “heartless” enough to believe so, but by science and logical reasoning.
By definition, it is the deliberate termination of pregnancy, without the natural birth of the child and before it is ready to survive outside of the uterus. Murder is the premeditated killing of a person.
The very common argument to that is, “Isn’t the fetus also a person?” No.
A person is defined as a human being regarded as an individual. And to be an individual, one must be of independent existence, to say the least. Abortion is mostly performed before 28 weeks. And this is the period when a fetus isn’t yet viable. It physically has no existence other than as an extended part of the mother’s body. Hence it is not a person, and abortion is not murder.
But then again there are a few who asked if killing a newborn baby is okay by this logic. No, of course not. Because once born, it’s an individual being, a person and then it becomes murder. An abortion points at the inability of a woman to go through pregnancy, and not at her desire to kill an actual person.
When I asked these people if they would be ready to raise a child right now, some claimed they can, the rest spoke of giving up the child for adoption or to such institutions. I understand that this path satisfies your ideas and beliefs regarding abortion, but is it a better option than terminating the pregnancy?
I have to disagree.
On paper, it seems like a solid idea. Someone might adopt the kid, and everyone is happy. But realistically, what are the chances of that happening? From what I understand, not a huge fraction of kids in these systems find a happy home. The rest of them continue to live in orphanages and care centers until they’re turned out of the system on their 18th birthday. I do have to admit that there are a few such institutions that provide great care and support to the kids. But again, It’s only a handful. The rest of these institutions are just run as a form of business and the life of the children in these places are quite unhappy. Then there are again institutions that wish to give the children love and good care but are unable to due to lack of resources.
Bottom line, very few get lucky enough to have a good life. Most of these kids grow up unloved, without the attention and support they deserve, often feeling neglected, and suffering from trauma and fears of abandonment. And again, among those who make it to adulthood, quite a fraction struggle to find good jobs and achieve a stable life. Mostly because they don’t have enough qualifications or training to compete in this world. They didn’t have anyone to show them the ropes of life. Many of the boys who couldn’t achieve some sort of labor, turn to unethical businesses for survival. Only around 10% of the girls have a shot at education through sponsorship or scholarships. The rest of them mostly ends up marrying men who are very much older than them for mutual benefits and some even wind up engaging in prostitution.
Long story short, most of these children have utterly miserable lives for however long they manage to survive out there. So when you think about it, Isn’t it kinder that a child never begins life as an individual than birth it into the world just to subject it to a life of pain? When you say pro-life, is the only emphasis on the fact that a fetus lives, and not on the kind of life it would have to live? If you still believe that abortion is the bigger sin, is it even the life of the child that you are concerned about? Or is your priority simply to be guilt-free according to the beliefs you uphold?
As we can expect, the next argument would be
We all know that it’s not always a feasible solution. Sometimes a woman just may not have the circumstances to raise a child. Maybe she doesn’t have the emotional, physical, or financial ability to do it. Maybe she isn’t in an atmosphere conducive to the healthy development of a young kid. We know how unkind this society is to a single mother, especially if the child is out of wedlock. Most of the families refuse to support her and in many cases, even friends aren’t supportive. How can she possibly manage to support herself and the child, that too if she’s young and barely has her life sorted?
So this is something we can all agree on. The birth mother just cannot always raise the child.
But the two above arguments are only valid if the woman gives birth. Most women that choose to terminate the pregnancy don’t simply do it because of her inability to raise the child, but because she doesn’t even have the luxury of carrying a baby for nine months. Pregnancy isn’t some fun little membership for nine months. It’s not an easy decision. There’s a lot more to it than people seem to realize. Carrying a baby and finally giving birth isn’t a walk in the park. It comes with a lot of health consequences, depending on how healthy she is in the first place. Both physical and mental. And let’s not forget that childbirth is a significant cause of death amongst women.
Again, a woman needn’t be unhealthy to be eligible to have an abortion. Maybe she just doesn’t have the financial stability to have a child. I’m not talking about raising the child, but just to support its growth while it’s in her. To keep herself healthy. To provide the required nutrients to ensure that the child born is healthy. One can’t possibly ask a woman to put everything aside, sacrifice the entire life she has struggled to achieve to carry through with a pregnancy she isn’t ready for. No one has the right to ask that of any woman.
“Why did she have sex? If at all that was so necessary, couldn’t she have used contraceptives?”
First of all, contraceptives are not 100% effective. Even after proper protective measures, there is still a chance for pregnancy. And again, premarital sex is not a sin. Between partners, it is a form of intimacy. It simply is a fun thing to do. And as long as either of them consented to it, it isn’t really anyone else’s business. Sex isn’t always an attempt to get pregnant. Because someone had sex, it doesn’t mean they deserve to have a pregnancy forced upon them,
Statistically, it’s been evident that these arguments arise mostly from those who are either sexually inactive. I think it’s mostly just because of the lack of perspective. Those who don’t have sex naturally don’t stand the risk of an unwanted pregnancy. We often fail to understand the gravity of a situation unless we ourselves can be affected by it. But this is not a valid excuse, because it’s simply not right to only support whatever that may benefit oneself. You do have the liberty to stay entirely out of the topic if you aren’t able to perceive the plight of those affected, but kindly don’t advocate for the wrong idea. Not about just this topic, but anything at all.
“Think of all those couples who want to be parents but are unable to have a child.”
As much as I do understand the struggle of some women to conceive, it’s still not a reason good enough to force someone else to have a baby. It’s very much illogical and extremely manipulative. For those who want to be parents, there are so many options. There’s already a lot of kids in the system hoping to find a home. Surrogacy is a feasible option. What isn’t a solution is forcing another woman to give birth simply because of the inability of another to do so.
The one point I just cannot skip over is the number of men who believe they have the right to force the idea of pro-life over every woman.
Again, NO. Even prolife women seem to agree on this point.
This is not an area of decision making that involves the opinion of men. I am aware of the arguments that will come up. As well as accusations of gender discrimination or misandry. Which are both baseless and false in this context.
For as long as parthenogenesis is hypothetical among human beings, men do contribute majorly to every pregnancy. It is a fact. But it doesn’t earn every man the right to exert control over every pregnancy in this society. Because at the end of the day, it’s extremely personal to women.
Men always have an option here. To stay or to leave. Some of you may argue you’ll never leave your partner, good for you, but that isn’t the general pattern. Whether or not you choose to leave, you certainly have that door open if you wish to do so. Pregnancy isn’t evident on a man. As long as he doesn’t acknowledge it, it simply doesn’t affect him. As for women, we have nowhere to run and hide. Also, no one ever asks a man to drop his career, ambitions, and life as he knows it, for a child, he didn’t want or is not ready for. On the other hand, this society with its deeprooted ideas of patriarchy somehow expects women to redesign their lives to prioritize this child regardless of what she may need to sacrifice.
Even if we ignore all this, there still remains the basic fact that it is the woman who has to nourish and grow the fetus within her body until it’s viable. It is the woman who will have to undergo irreversible physiological and psychological changes during this period. It is the woman putting herself on the line.
Surely you see why it’s the women who are more affected and why it is that only their opinions hold any relevance on the grand scale of things.
Of course, every man has the right to voice their opinion regarding the pregnancy of their partner regarding their course of action, as long as the pregnancy is the result of consensual intercourse. But at the end of the day, it’s always the woman’s choice and no one can force her to go through with it.
Pro-choice. Not Pro-abortion.
These attempts at normalizing abortions don’t mean that we are all pro-abortion. It doesn’t mean that we will make everyone have an abortion or that when the day comes, we will definitely get an abortion.
We are merely pro-choice.
We are advocating for basic reproductive rights. Let us choose what path we wish to take in our pregnancy.
Because making abortions illegal will never mean that the abortions won’t happen anymore. It would simply increase the number of fraudulent means of the procedure, which will undoubtedly lead to an increase in the number of deaths as a result. There is also a significant risk of helpless young girls resorting to suicide as their last option because, as we already established, some just can’t go through with the pregnancy.
When I ask you to consider being pro-choice, I’m not trying to take away your beliefs on this. By all means, one has the right to be pro-life, and refuse abortion, but only when it is their own life. Please don’t try to impose your beliefs on everyone else. Of course, you may provide someone considering abortion with alternate options in a respectable manner, just to let them know that there are choices. But in the end, let them decide what they want to do. And if they do decide to continue to get an abortion, don’t punish them or judge them for their choice.
Let us just please be respectful of a woman’s basic right to make decisions for herself, without any negative consequences from society.
It’s her uterus. And therefore, her choice.
